Wednesday, 1 July 2009

Casserole mole

First it was polytunnel-toad, now it's casserole-mole. Where will it end? Bedroom-badger? Pantry-pig? Barn-owl?
"The cat brought in a mole" is muttered into my ear as I stuff my head more firmly under the pillow (not my turn to do the animals). Half an hour later I open the scullery door and a deep brown mole is scuttling about in the shadows. I shut the scullery door. I sit and think and eat my breakfast. I open the scullery door, grab a casserole and decide to carry said mole out in that. I have bare feet and vulnerable fingers. I shut the scullery door and go and get gloves and shoes. I open the scullery door and watch the mole choose between tins of baked beans and plum tomatoes before it decides to hide behind the shelving. It makes a hell of a noise rattling everything it bangs into. I shut the scullery door and finish the piece I was reading in the paper. Even louder rustling noises start. I open the scullery door (hopefully for the last time this morning) and watch Mr Mole wander across my path. Gotcha! I pick him up (gloves on), put him in the casserole and slam shut the lid. I carry the lot outside and put it in the shade while I decide what to do with him. The lid bounces off. I slam it back shut and stick a heavy weight on top. There is now a cursing and swearing mole inside my casserole.
What to do with him? We've trapped at least five moles in the veg patch this season and I don't want him anywhere near my swiftly growing foodstuffs. I could stew him without having to take him out of the pot. But because it's haymaking day and there is more than enough stress going round what with one tractor having to have new tyres RIGHT NOW, and the other waiting for me to pick up its box-fresh starter motor all before baling and carting can proceed, killing of the innocents is less than usually tempting. Casserole-mole is given a reprieve and is dumped in a field some way from the house and garden. No doubt he'll be back, and the traps are waiting.

8 comments:

Swearing Mother said...

He can't say he hasn't been warned! I hate killing things, even spiders, but if they keep on pushing their luck, it's goodnight Vienna!

Is that mean?

mountainear said...

What a dilemma. Very kind of you to give him/her a reprieve though.

Winchester whisperer said...

Holy moley!

Yorkshire Pudding said...

That mole was meant to report the innermost secrets of your expenses to The Daily Telegraph and of your love life to The Sun. I was looking forward to both scoops.

Scriptor Senex said...

I wish I'd known about this sooner. I'm short of a (live) mole picture. Next time - how about posting him to me!

James Higham said...

Give him something to eat.

Around My Kitchen Table said...

My cat's latest thing is slow worms. We have loads in our garden and I'm forever finding them (sometimes half of one) wriggling about on my kitchen floor. Shudder!

Kari Lønning said...

I'm glad that you didn't just squash the little guy. Though moles aren't my favorite garden companion, I hate the thought of anything dying.