Thursday 10 April 2008

Fluff

There are times (like now) when you can have enough of sheep. Two ewes are left to lamb, one of which is more a shipping container than a mere box of frogs. It is completely wild, and has no concept that the sheep is a domesticated animal, bred for centuries to be farmed. No. This sheep is a wolf, a piranha, and as I discovered this morning, a battering (ewe) ram.
My left tit (ok, TMI) is all purple bruise where this particular nutter took a flying leap at me, having given itself a considerable run up first, and launched into me full tilt like a bowling ball at a skittle. I managed to stand my ground, but only just, and the pain!
I know that a flock can have its flighty moments, but I've never known anything quite like this, particular at lambing time when my close and constant presence is at its most acceptable. The old girls positively welcome me helping out if they are having a little trouble and will come up to me if I'm sat on my stool observing, to give my hand a sniff. They crowd round me when I have a bucket of feed, and just a glance of me has them trotting over to see if there might be something good on offer. But not the flying ewe. I hope this one lambs on her own and needs no assistance; the consequences of having to help her could mean serious injury... to me!
So, to take my mind off sheepy things, and in line with the remaining quality of brain I have left, I have buried myself in fluff. I'm not recommending the Jilly Cooper romances for anything other than helping you drift off to sleep on those occasions when counting sheep is more likely to send you into an anti-farming frenzy, but Bella, Imogen, Prudence, Emily, Harriet and Octavia, although not bearing any literary examination, have kept my head quiet, a fictional morphine if you will, over the last couple of weeks. Jilly makes me chortle. It may be hogwash, but sometimes a hog can help you forget a sheep, bruises or no bruises.

12 comments:

KAZ said...

Ooouch!
How on earth do you bandage a left tit?
I'm not a Jilly fan, though she is funny and the grey hair looks good.

James Higham said...

Surreal in fact.

Mopsa said...

Ouch indeed, KAZ, and I didn't even attempt a bandage...

I always find surreal is quite happy in my own backyard Semaj!

Manic Mother Of Five said...

I LOVE Jilly Cooper. She makes no claim to be high brow, she does what she says on the tin - write a bloody good romp.

As for the wayward sheep, I have but two words......... Mint sauce, whispered gently in her ear should restor the status quo........

See you soon!

MMoF

Anonymous said...

We've got a small, black Shetlandx ewe who's nicknamed Headcase...you can imagine why. I too have suffered the bruised bazookas from the frustrating creature; usually just after she's lambed is the worst time to catch her. When safely penned up with her lambs just putting feed in for her, is challenging enough; as she literally snarls like a lion & attacks with extraordinary ferocity. So you can imagine what it's like, if you have to do anything to her lambs....!!

Anyway; after being tagged by Fiona at 'Cottage Smallholder' I've passed on the compliment & mentioned you as a 'must-read' Blog; & tagged you for the meme, hope you don't mind (details are on my Blog in the entry labelled 'Playing Tag' dated 07 April 08).

Alas, as we're in the thick of kidding & lambing, I'm not getting the chance to read anything - except for veterinary manuals or books about starting a business etc! But I would recommend Rosie Boycott's 'Our Farm' - well written & thought-provoking indeed.

Cheers aye,

Jo + LittleFfarm Dairy menagerie.

Flowerpot said...

I quite agree about those JC books Mopsa - Ive got them too and they're wonderful. Hope your bruises heal soon!

Mopsa said...

MMo5 - the freezer is pretty full of lamb and mutton already - but it IS tempting!

LFD - Headcase about sums it up. Thank you for the tag and the link; I'd done this one some while ago, so won't bore you all be repeating.

F'pot - nothing like a little indulgence

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

A great post, Mopsa and I do feel for you! Yes, there are times when only a Jillie-type novel can relax us.

Eurodog said...

Have you read "The Common Years"? Stories about people and dogs and incidents whilst on walks with her dogs on Wimbledon common. Good read, actually.

Eurodog said...

Sorry, forgot to mention the arnica for the bruises which are probably a nice shade of yellow by now.

Whispering Walls said...

Maybe you get a matador in and host a local show?

Anonymous said...

Yiikes - things must be baaaad [sorry] if you are resorting to Jilly Cooper novels...

On a lighter note, this article made me smile...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/7335681.stm