Saturday, 27 December 2008

Christian cheer

Just before Christmas I was in a church not a million miles away with a bunch of friends, listening to the most awful Christmas concert imaginable. Truly awful - I should have backed out when I heard the electric organ twang in lift musak fashion as I entered. There were candles everywhere, on all the pews and tucked into every churchy crevice.
On top of the extraordinary tinkling, twangy sounds provided for the audience's pleasure, we were preached at from the pulpit by a lay orator between each musical offering. I didn't know that smugness and self satisfaction were Christian virtues, but being an atheist, I might have got that wrong. Certainly, there was no humility on show.
I have long hair. I smelled burning. The man in the pew behind grinned at me in unchristian fashion as my locks crinkled and burned on his little pew candle. I wanted to throttle the smug bastard. Instead, I filled the church with singeing pong and left in the interval to stick pins in a wax effigy.
Far better were the Christmas carols in Hatherleigh square on Christmas eve. The Hatherleigh Silver Band played beautifully, and as I walked up from the cattle market, arrived to the sounds of a gorgeous, plaintive Silent Night. The service lasted just 30 minutes and ended with delicious mulled cider and minced pies. There was a great sadness and coming together, all in mourning for the loss of the George, the ruins in full view from the square.

7 comments:

mountainear said...

Throw 'em to the lions.....

mountainear said...

Must add - really sorry about the pub.

Scriptor Senex said...

Not sure if I'm an atheist or not (which may of itself make me an atheist!) but I have to confess I've been a lot more fortunate in my occasional visits to church. Sorry your experience was so bad but not all Christians merit throwing to the lions. Some are quite inspiring.
I wonder if the replacement pub will be haunted? After all, a lot of spirits must have gone up in flames.

littleffarmdairy said...

Oh my goodness....!

I had a similar experience here; dreadful.

The news about the 'George' is so very sad: thankfully at least it appears no-one was hurt although the loss of such a fine, historic building is inevitably a tragic loss to any community.

Anyway - Season's Greetings, to you & yours; here's wishing you a fine Yule & a peaceful & prosperous New Year.

All the best from Jo, Tony & the menagerie here at LittleFfarm Dairy.

James Higham said...

That's the unpleasant face of Crimbo.

Mopsa said...

M'ear - strongly tempted!

Scriptor Senex - welcome to the blog - liked the wordplay!

Thank you LFD - and same to you.

James - it was all terribly petty and pathetic really. Nothing spiritual about any of it.

paula said...

You got it down to a tee - unbelievable.