Sunday, 20 December 2009

Staying with the turkey theme...

...it being Christmas and all that, I've just had a laugh, a splutter and an irritated from Tunbridge Wells moment reading this.
In my professional life I deal with strategies - it's kind of important to know where you want to be in order to have some vague chance of possibly getting there. But the idea of store managers having conference calls to agree strategies for selling turkeys at Christmas seems to me as barking as outlining a strategy for taking a bath when you're grubby, having a snooze when you're tired, or making a sandwich when the old tum is rumbling.
It's like this, store managers, turkey buyers and the rest... It's Christmas. The majority of meat eaters eat turkey for Christmas. Make sure you stock up on them, so that there are enough fresh, freerange, organic and frozen to meet the demand. Stick 'em in your shops with a price label on them. Wait for customers to have that light bulb "ooh, it's Christmas, I must get some mince pies, a plum pudding, some chipolatas and a turkey" moment. Bob's your uncle.
Perhaps I should charge for this little bit of insight? Nope. The idea of becoming Head Turkey Consultant would just make me a laughing stock.

7 comments:

PG said...

My partner is a supermarket manager, and I've done my time working in them. The plain truth is that running a huge operation is really not as simple as it seems from the outside - and what appears to be slightly bonkers is just planning ahead so that everything goes as smoothly as possible from season to season. Because the one thing you can guarantee is that no matter what you do, customers will always find something to moan about. :)

Yorkshire Pudding said...

You could turn South Yeo Farm West into a conference centre for supermarket sales strategists. You would be the facilitator offering a range of courses, including
"How to stack cans of beans for maximum sales"
"Checkout operator uniform design for maximum profit"
"Getting the most out of your sausages" - led by Tiger Woods.

Happy Christmas!

garfer said...

Strategies my arse. I just don't want to trudge through the slush in search of my plump breasted lovely.

Do you do geese?

Winchester whisperer said...

Merry Christmas to you and your turkeys!

Mopsa said...

PG - I'm sure you're right.

YP - I'd be up for the Tiger Woods event; I love a good sausage.

Garfer, I have four beautiful geese ready to be killed and plucked and dressed, wandering about in the snowy orchard - I'll catch one for you if you will pluck it.

WW - and to you!

Flowerpot said...

We're a turkey free household here - and goose free too! Supposed to be having beef on Xmas Day but it's too icy to go anywhere to get any. Scrambled eggs then. Oh - no eggs either! Happy Crimble Mopsa.

Mopsa said...

F'pot - have a cocktail or two!