Tuesday, 27 November 2007

Calm down dear!

I am not, stress not, going to go into a numpty-strop just because the morons in the Barclays call centre somewhere south of Katmandu are causing blood pressure red alerts. I will be calm. I will think about something else.
I will be grateful that I now have electricity and water, after having had both withdrawn for the day.
I will smile that there is a perfectly good walkway across the deep trenches that crisscross the farmyard and avoid skipping out of the door in anything less than full concentration mode.
I will be happy that I remembered to tell visitors to park at the top of the farm track, to wear wellies, bring torches and walk SLOWLY.
I will ignore that I let the fire go out due to the distractingly manic proceedings of the day, and will crumple up irritating newspaper articles and poke them with kindling and flames.
I will make fish pie and eat wholesome, comforting lusciousness.
But now I find that my only source of cooking heat, the Aga, has gone out. So I will put down the axe and chop more kindling tomorrow before I find my aim tonight is not so true.
I'm going to bed. Without supper.
Or I could listen to some R.E.M.

8 comments:

KAZ said...

Oh Gw'on stamp your feet, tear your hair and scream and shout.

You've worked hard for this tantrum and you deserve it.

Eurodog said...

Have a drink.

mountainear said...

Did, just for one moment, wonder why you had picked up an axe....wondered if tomorrow's headlines might read 'Mad Axe-woman Strikes south west.'

Whispering Walls said...

Call centres - the mere words make my blood boil.

Anonymous said...

Hope you feel less under siege today even if the yard does look like a First World War trench filled battle field.
Shout, scream, throw down your axe and take a good long walk. When you’re far enough away from the chaos look around you and with luck the reason for the war zone up at the house may become clearer again.

Flowerpot said...

yes - have several drinks - think you need them.

Swearing Mother said...

Shout "bugger" loudly. Works for me.

Mopsa said...

Kaz - ooh, a tantrum - just TOO tempting!

Eurowoof - I just might!

M'ear - don't worry, I was just doing the kindling (and then though better of it!)

WW - I think the chap I first spoke to had been asleep when his phone rang... he was fully awake by the time I'd finished.

Paula - it's just not safe to chuck an axe around at the moment - it's likely to catch one of the many builders in the neck - and they are doing such sterling work I'd hate to cause an interruption. And the battlefield will clear within a few days, and chaps will be scaling scaffolding instead.

F'pot - I could murder a Bloody Mary

SM - BUGGER!!! That's better (and VERY polite for me).