Sunday, 10 May 2009

I'm claiming it on expenses

Like most people, I've been watching the unravelling of the MP's expenses scandal open-mouthed. I'm so jealous I can hardly splutter forth venom. As an M.P there'd be no need to pay for my Tampax anymore; I could have my poshest rugs repaired and paid for by other tax payers; I'd enjoy a variety of houses and flats pretending I'm living in whichever one took my accountant's fancy that week; I'd get my mole problems sorted at no cost to myself, and I wouldn't have to show receipts for slap up meals or treats that cost less than £250. Best of all, none of this would put a dent in my £65,000 salary. Show me the money!
There'd be one downside though, come to think of it.
No-one would trust me ever again. I would be despised at least as much as Fred the Shred. None of my good intentions or pleas for a refocussing on the important things would have any credence. My name, my judgement and my honour would be mud and filth. I'd have to spend all my time making feeble excuses rather than bellowing "Hear, hear" in the House, and have to satisfy myself instead with cries of "I didn't break any rules" in the comfort of one of my other houses.
But at least I'd have the satisfaction of knowing incontrovertibly that I'd been one of the gang responsible for ending parliament as we know it. My name will be forever secure in the history books.
And that is my 400th blog post. What a sad way to mark this mini milestone.

4 comments:

Winchester whisperer said...

Well done Mopsa

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

Congratulations. What a shower those MPs are.

Arthur Clewley said...

yes, but single farm payment is sort of like MPs expenses isn't it - paid by the taxpayer and not dependant on the recipent actually doing anything in return

Mopsa said...

Arthur - SFP does require the recipient to do all kinds of things. Every payment is open to public scrutiny online, and you can't play the system. And farmers aren't self regulating. I think the MPs are a disgrace, pontificating on how we should live our lives and then behaving like Thatcherite wide boys, whatever their political colour.